Bidding for the past: vintage coach bag

I just had my first experience with ebay.
I'm kind of paranoid people.
Moreover, I think of myself as a technology illiterate old woman.
So fear of buying things on internet is how I feel.
I mean I need to see them, feel them before buying.
But what kind of world I'm living in now, I have to move with it, haven't I?
It's so excited every time I clicked the bid button.
Feeling like I made a big decision, bigger than having a baby.
But finally I'm telling myself just go with your instinct, everything will be alright.
This is how I live in the real world - by my insticnt
So in the digital world, why not living the same way?
I'm still alive and for 6 months have been carrying my new bag.
(that was old for the ex-owner.)




vintage coach bag style no 4158
photo by mettomot

therapy

no talks
no questions
no solutions
i just need a quiet time for my therapy.





photo by kanchit and mettomot
at sala khoayai
and khaoyai national park

we all go back to where we belong

After the flooding, it took such a long time for my self-healing.
Many things happened during that time that change my perspective.
I admited that i've been collapsed, like many others.
But i'm glad that we're finally back to where we belong.
And for any good or bad, this too shall pass.





picture from my room
we all go back to where we belong from r.e.m

I miss my home.

This is the last picture of my home before we left 3 weeks ago. 

Because it is located on the north of Bangkok so the effect is so much. 

Even though I know it's not too much compare to other parts of Thailand. 

I know it's the privilege of living in capital city. 

But I just realize that it's the higher privilege if you live in downtown. 

By intention or not, invisible or not, 

we're labeled by the the authorized people, 

to define how important we are. 

And this is just another flooding house story.

photo by Kanchit

the song we wrote

Hello.
It's been a long time since my last post.
And when it's been that long,
I started to think...what it should be my coming back post.
And I changed and changed and delayed and delayed.
That added more time and time.
So this is it.... the first song that I wrote with Magga.
Magga just learned piano for a year.
The first six months I had to be in the class with him.
He was not a good student that made me want to give up from time to time.
But Kanchit asked me to continue the class no matter what.
So we changed him to other teacher and I'm glad that I found her.
Magga starts to be interested in playing piano now.
And for myself who never once in my life ever learned anything about music,
I had to help him a little bit with the practice.
So we spent time together and wrote this song.
It's not a great piece and you may laugh at it.
But I just realized how happy it is to make a note become a song.




photo by magga

to japan

The first time I went oversea was going to Japan, over the two decades ago.
I had a chance to be in a group of my company designing Thai booth at the expo in 1989.
My best friend told me that I would love this country...and he was so right.
I really did.
I still remember when I flew back looking from the plane window
and telling myself that I would never have another chance to come back here again
due to the high cost of living that I couldn't afford.
I tried to memorized everything I've seen for the last time.
But it turn out that my first time is not the last time, I went there again and yes...again.
Especially with Kanchit and Magga last year.
I think I personally have such a feeling to here.
So seeing what happened to Japan is really heartbreaking.
It's too much to be true.
But when I see your people going through the disaster with strength and calmness,
I have a deeply great respect for you.
You will overcome this and the sun will rise again.
I'll pray for you.

all photos by magga

from my window

The weather is getting cooler in Bangkok.
So nice.
This makes everything looks better.
From my bedroom window,
I saw a squirrel and heard the birds singing all around.

who's to say it's all for the best in the end

Any friendships could be ended easily in Thailand.
Just for the reason of their different points of view.
This makes me think of Satre-Camus.
Why can't they be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

This is the last post for 2010.

Many things happened in 2010.
Most of all these have changed my believe.
It’s been so hard to be logical through the chaos that happened in Thailand.
And it’s been harder not to be taken by one’s side.
People in this society always say they are neutral.
And I was one of them.
Then I start to wonder if it’s possible to be neutral.
I wonder if that’s because I don’t want to be labeled just by one color.
Or it’s the reason that I don’t want to be criticized of being colored.
I really don’t know what I’ll turn to be next year.
But one thing I know, from what I’ve been through this year.
I could never be the same.




photo by kanchit

my friend

Outside my window, the big bamboo tree has been standing there with me for over 30 years.
I'm kind of people who tries to avoid the feeling of bonding.
I don't have pets. I don't want any. I don't want to cry when they die.
But looking through my window and working next to this tree for more than half of my life.
This tree became many parts of my memories.
My mother just told me that tomorrow they will cut this big bamboo tree
for building the new road at the back of my house,
next to my room where this tree has been standing for more than 50 years.
For someone it's just a bamboo tree but for me this is my friend.

I've been away from home for awhile.
And just came back to see many parts of my country has been flooded.
The houses, the roads, the rice fields, the temples and the people...everything.
I know we deserved this punishment for what we've done to this world.
But if Bangkok is the capital city so we get free pass for this punishment.
Is it the right thing for us?
Magga asked me last night for the reason of our city is free from flooding.
When I told him that because we live in capital city.
Then he asked me.....
if we are bad people to replace this suffering to others.
I didn't know what to say.
I just couldn't sleep all night.

portrait by magga

Magga came back from school with a piece of paper.
He told me that today he drew my picture in the class.
Due to his lack of interests in any kind of art activities,
he never wants to color, to paint or to draw anything,
to see my first portrait by him really makes me smile.
And of course....
it's a smile from the deepest of my heart as he always asking for.

Sunshine

According to the wheather forecast,
we will live with a heavy rain for the whole month
so a serious flood in Bangkok is the talk of the town.
This is all about the climate change.
So every morning, to wake up with a sunshine
and to know that Bangkok not become a sea is making my day.



picture: in my bathroom at 07.00

You can spend all your love making time

After the heavy rain,
we went to swim again and searching for crabs
that running into the hole on the beach.
After for a while there was a rainbow,
and then a double rainbows!
Incredible!
We could stay here forever
if we don't have to think about tomorrow.

Rainy day on Hua Hin Beach

Yes....it was raining in Hua Hin.
I don' mind the rainy day on the beach.
But for Magga, he just wanted to meet the sun.
For going out to swim in the pool.
After swiming half day in the Sun,
it was raining heavily on the beach in the afternoon.
This is while Magga was sleeping,
I just lying near the window reading books.
And for Kanchit, he was spending his good time in spa.
What a happy time we all had individaully.

Morning

I don't think we get back to normal.
How could we?
When last month many people were just killed on the street.
In the middle of the town.
We say 'move on'.
When some lives stopped moving on for goods.
This is how city people live.
Just move on with the flock.
I wish I could.




picture from aw.s

Magga and his reading

My father loves reading.

That makes me love reading.

And I met my husband who loves reading.

That makes our son loves reading too.

Reading books for Magga

Gwyneth Paltrow recommended her favorite children books in Goop.
So this makes me thinking about mine.
These are what I read and want to read to Magga.




Harold and the purple crayon by Crockett Johnson
Apart from being the classic one,
this is the first book that Kanchit gave to me.
That’s why I love reading this to Magga, for our good memory.





Shel Silverstein’s book
I read his books to 4 kids that I’ve known in my life.
3 of my nieces and one of my son.
All I can say is that all of them love his books.
My first niece is now 15 years old so that was almost 12 years ago.
I love his image at the back cover of the giving tree.
When they asked me who this guy was,
and then they got reluctant to believe that he’s the writer
when I told them he was.
But after reading his books again and again
they told me that this guy was so gentle.
I found how amazing it was to see them getting to know people
from…..inside out.





The Grilled fish by Oguma Hideo
This was translated from Japanese to Thai.
It’s the story about the Mackerel fish
that was caught and sold in the market.
But all of the time it’s longing to go back home…the sea.
I got this book from my best friend as a present for my birthday.
It was one of my favorite present that I ever got.





The Crescent moon by Rabindranath Tagore
Beautiful poems that’s easy to read for children.
I got this copy from my best friend when Magga was born.
I love Rabindranath Tagore.





The zoo by Suwannee Sukhonta
This book was written in Thai.
Suwannee was an amazing woman.
She was a mother, a writer, an artist, an editor
who was ahead of her time.
The way she wrote was like painting a picture.
I love the beautiful words in her book.
She was so irreplaceable.





Little Wan By Sarawok
This classic was also written only in Thai.
It's the story about the little girl called Wan
who’s living in the countryside.
I still remember that my sister got this book
as her birthday present from our parents,
when she was 12 years old and I was 8 years old at that time.
I love Nu Wan ever since.
It was said that lots of Nu wan's perspective
was based on Marxism.
But it was one of the hundred books
that was recommended to read for Thai children.
Find the first edition to read (if you could).
Because some has been censored,
when recommended by the government.
No matter what,
her thoughts about the world around her are still timeless.






watch harold and the purple crayon here
visit shel silverstein official site
read the crescent moon by rabindranath tagore in enlish here
if you could read thai download little wan pdf file from here

Smile

..

After calling Magga over 20 times for having a shower,

I then stopped talking and made an empty face

that he knew this was serious.

Then he asked " Mom, why you're not smiling?"

I replied with my blank look.

"Could you give me a little smile?"

I gave him a quick pretentious smile.

And then he told me this lovely words.

"Give me the smile that smiling from your heart"

And this couldn't stop me from not smiling anymore.

And he said...That's it!

.

Door stop in India

I found this idea when I went to India.
My previous post reminds me of this.





photo by mettomot